shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
