shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
