This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
