I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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