He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
