woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
