She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
