He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
