just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
