i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
