I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Semen is not good for contacts.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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