I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
