why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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