there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize