she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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