So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
