birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
