Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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