I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
