You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
