Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
