Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
