The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
His hands were made for my vagina.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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