Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
