I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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