you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
