You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
