I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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