can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Farmville is her only friend.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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