It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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