you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
be right there i have to get my cape
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
