My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
