Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize