If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize