3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
