her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
