So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
