Is it because I queefed?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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