Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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