Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
