apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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