God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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