and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
