Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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