Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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