Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
