which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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