why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
where are my eyebrows?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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