He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
