I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
