redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
