im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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