Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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