dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
