The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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