if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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