He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
